Working for someone else is not only obsolete, it is slavery. This may have been the way of the past, but it is no longer an option. The sooner you stop trying to coerce your children toward this barbaric practice, the better off your kids will be.
You can only do damage to your children by attempting to influence their choices. The essence of ideal parenting is humility. It is the recognition that your children know what's best for themselves. Let them explore and make mistakes, they will either do so, or do so AND hate you.
Your ego is the barrier between yourself and understanding your kids. If you see them as your teachers rather than princesses and young men to guide, they will thrive. Don't think that they are not watching. Kids know what you're doing to them, what your intentions are, and of course, they are watching the decisions you make for your own life.
Submit to your children, they are your source to parenting salvation. Recognize that you have no power. Any enforcement of your ideals will cause dissension and destruction. Leave them be.
Children know what they need. They understand the future in their generation's eyes. To force them along your generation's path is to continuously place land mines at every turn they may take. Choosing to oppress your children with the intention of fixing your own mistakes will hurt your kids and it will hurt you.
Stop being masochist and self-destructive. Leave your children as they are. They'll find the right path. If you are a mess, they will see and determine on their own whether they want to fall in line. They can choose your failure or their own success. You have no control whatsoever through active participation.
Step back and watch your children fly, but never tell them that you are watching. Let them feel your pride. If you choose yourself over your kids, please recuse yourself as a parent. Step away, we don't want you!
As Kahlil Gibran says,
ReplyDelete"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
Thanks Aleah, Gibran explains it beautifully. Accepting this concept is the first step to becoming a good parent. Releasing the idea of owning one's children frees parent and child to grow together. It is a question of maturity in the parent.
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