October 6, 2013

The oldest trick in the book

There's always Thailand, the Land of Smiles. No problem in your life can ever be so serious. Whenever something bad happens, the answer is always "no problem."

The method for getting your way in Thailand is always to flatter and woo with sex. Boy or girl, it doesn't really matter. In Thailand, the Westerners are seen as hairy monkeys, but somehow we like it that way. The Thais always smile and make for a fun atmosphere without any heavy undercurrent of reality. As long as you keep the Thais happy, you'll feel light, without a care in the world.

If you get them angry, run...fast! Don't point with your feet, don't touch people on the head, and don't start yelling and gesticulating aggressively. If you think you're fighting with one Thai, you'll soon find out that they have nine friends who aren't afraid to cut you.

With a tonal language that comes out just a tad bit nasal, you will definitely go home with a hilarious accent. The Thais are a proud people and though learning English occurs in school, it never really catches on with the students. The most important thing in life is to have fun. The rest is secondary.

Thai people know that they have a great culture and don't need Westerners for anything. We provide a major income source in the way of husband income. This is a misnomer as the providers aren't actually husbands, and much of the "income" gets spent on alcohol by the recipient.

European men go to Thailand, have sex with Thai women without protection, and then find that one or many of his "short time" lovers is now pregnant and that he needs to send money. The most talented ladies of the night will often have multiple streams of income with this same scam.

It is easy enough to pull, and the beauty is that whether she's pregnant or not, the European man can't easily determine whether the baby is his without taking a flight back to Thailand. Often he'll have numerous friends telling him that its a well-known scam, but he'll pay anyway.

There are a few reasons for his choice. It could be guilt, it could be love, he might just want to keep her as a bang-buddy for his return, OR it could be to just keep his options open. I've always wanted a kid anyway, he might say. This is his chance to try out being a Dad, but without the commitment of marrying the mother. If he doesn't like the kid, or if Mom's figure doesn't return after she has the baby, he can always go home to Europe.

Thailand is a dreamland, where nothing is real. The rules don't apply. What happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

Now of course, we can vilify the guy for being... well, being a guy, but the reality is that the whole scene was choreographed long ago when Western men first came to Thailand. The Thai women know their options and have seen their friends marry a foreigner and get the big house and fancy jewelry. This is just one of the many great results.

Another is that she can have a gorgeous mixed baby and receive a large income for the rest of her life. She can choose to retire from the foreigner hunting racquet, she can marry Thai, or if ambitious, she can rinse and repeat as long as the Western men will have sex with her.

This is not only good business, but it is a win for the Thais over the stupid hairy farangs.

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