June 24, 2015
May 1, 2015
BIZ
encouragement one pic/day - like food porn (use pinterest and pre-set w/ a programmer), build encouragement community (no whining)
get inspiration and post it:
pinterest
http://www.littlethings.com/
3 good things
interior design
chocolate bars
body biz
online education
post vids on youtube
hair - pic/day
curriculum for kids about bodies in P.E. class
get inspiration and post it:
http://www.littlethings.com/
3 good things
interior design
chocolate bars
body biz
online education
post vids on youtube
hair - pic/day
curriculum for kids about bodies in P.E. class
April 28, 2015
January 29, 2015
Why title when it can be left blank
I have no sense of self. I am not living. I am simply floating and am surrounded by others who are too deluded to realize the irony of their routine. Why is it ironic what they do? They do not understand the ridiculousness of their folly. They do not arrive anywhere. There is no coming or going. They are in a rush for no apparent reason. They create problems and anxiety over misplaced forks when these forks truly belong in their hearts.
October 20, 2014
Destruction of education
Technology is the problem in the classroom. The intent to be innovative, to do the new-fangled thing, and bring students onto the internet is the new wave. Homework is done on the computer with programs that don't allow flexibility of method. Essays are graded by algorithm without human intervention. The dehumanization of education is upon us. Students are required to shape-shift into the necessary mold to move on. The loss of paper and pencil, creativity, and interest is the destruction of opportunity for learning.
October 18, 2014
Suicide
If you're dead on the inside with no hope of ever coming back, and have been for most of your life, suicide is courageous, because it means that you let your body follow your heart.
July 7, 2014
What's wrong with the developed world?
You and I don't even speak the same language. I've been living in Asia for the last 10 years and see the world from completely different eyes from how you see the world. If you have to tell yourself not to judge the drug addicts, you are missing something important. I understand that you've never left your own culture, but this is precisely the reason that you have no right to tell me what is right or wrong.
Yes, I play the victim and assign the local culture as the correct one, but I don't actually see it that way. Rather, I know what is right and can see what is wrong. Lack of concern for others, especially those you don't know, is a symptom of a sad culture. If you only care for your own, then the tendency is to care more for yourself than for even those close to you. This selfish way of interacting with the world may seem necessary but it only limits yourself. Imagine what can be accomplished working more than one at a time. Everyone ignores others, yet we question why the US has considerably higher suicide and homicide rates per population. It is the cold, uncaring culture of individualism.
When you are your career first, and rank people by income, the loss of humanity is not only destructive to the self, but to the whole. I miss the Philippines where people care for others because they are human and Thailand where people let others be free and make decisions without judgment even if their choices may be different.
I miss the love for others and the social freedom that the developed world has long forgotten.
Yes, I play the victim and assign the local culture as the correct one, but I don't actually see it that way. Rather, I know what is right and can see what is wrong. Lack of concern for others, especially those you don't know, is a symptom of a sad culture. If you only care for your own, then the tendency is to care more for yourself than for even those close to you. This selfish way of interacting with the world may seem necessary but it only limits yourself. Imagine what can be accomplished working more than one at a time. Everyone ignores others, yet we question why the US has considerably higher suicide and homicide rates per population. It is the cold, uncaring culture of individualism.
When you are your career first, and rank people by income, the loss of humanity is not only destructive to the self, but to the whole. I miss the Philippines where people care for others because they are human and Thailand where people let others be free and make decisions without judgment even if their choices may be different.
I miss the love for others and the social freedom that the developed world has long forgotten.
July 1, 2014
How to mutilate her
I feel a deep desire to mutilate her. First, slit her throat, blood curtling groan of helplessness. The pool will form. A dark crimson reservoir of death force. I will stab her and chop away recklessly to create a corpse that is as ugly as what she puts into the world. The intensity of the misery that she spreads will be the jackal-like laughter coming from my diaphragm as I stab, twist and repeat until I am emotionally exhausted, lying in a heap. Finally at peace because her rampage of destruction in life will be no more. Next, she will haunt as many souls as she can to continue the cycle of pain that she could never learn to temper.
June 30, 2014
Culture shock
I realized that much of my issue is simply a question of culture shock... in both directions. There's an uncertainty to the diametrically opposed truths within me, one innate (Western), the other what I have determined to be good (Asian). This caused an unbalancing of identity causing crisis. There are a few major points of conflict.
(1) A humility and self-effacing quality (which is most extreme in Korea) must be buoyed by a supportive environment, a culture of people who speak to each other with respect. Thus, in a Western, every man for himself, disconnected social system, the requirement is to harden oneself and to put on a more self-assured persona/identity.
(2) The no-self, which I was so intellectually fascinated by through buddhism/taoism simply isn't preferable in a culture with a language centering around the self. A narcissistic society doesn't allow one to interact cleanly without a strong sense of self.
(1) A humility and self-effacing quality (which is most extreme in Korea) must be buoyed by a supportive environment, a culture of people who speak to each other with respect. Thus, in a Western, every man for himself, disconnected social system, the requirement is to harden oneself and to put on a more self-assured persona/identity.
(2) The no-self, which I was so intellectually fascinated by through buddhism/taoism simply isn't preferable in a culture with a language centering around the self. A narcissistic society doesn't allow one to interact cleanly without a strong sense of self.
June 7, 2014
The Game
Life is a prison. You are stuck forever and there is no escape outside of death. The pressure to win is constant and neverending. However, winning is a farce. It is impossible to reach as a small win only makes the player hungry for more.
May 24, 2014
The Power of the Eyes
I live in a country where they don't think I speak their language. Though this may seem frustrating, it has advantages. I was walking down the street and was coming face-to-face with a lady trying to sell something to passersby. However, rather than display a product, I think she was trying to sell something much more abstract. We locked eyes.
She had the determination of a long-time salesman bloodied through many battles with prospects as she tried to wring blood from the hearts of a stone cold disinterested public. I saw her and knew that if I wanted, I could have her. I could sell her. The instant we locked eyes, I knew I held the power.
She had the determination of a long-time salesman bloodied through many battles with prospects as she tried to wring blood from the hearts of a stone cold disinterested public. I saw her and knew that if I wanted, I could have her. I could sell her. The instant we locked eyes, I knew I held the power.
May 17, 2014
I don't play well with others
I find joy as the ultimate fundamental value, but I rarely find it in shared play. Instead, I know how to play AT someone or to bring someone else joy, but it is directional. My enjoyment is in the accomplishment of causing joy, not in witnessing it. This action of making someone else feel joy is intentional, calculated almost. This starts out in the subconscious as I create joy, but then I watch it occurring and it changes form by definition.
May 10, 2014
Are you human?
There are just two types of people in the world. There are the machines and there are the humans.
The machines attempt to overcome themselves to meet goals determined by society. They are slaves to money, power, and status. They live within the human realm, have families, eat food, drive cars, but these are necessary evils in order to meet the goals prescribed for them.
The machines attempt to overcome themselves to meet goals determined by society. They are slaves to money, power, and status. They live within the human realm, have families, eat food, drive cars, but these are necessary evils in order to meet the goals prescribed for them.
May 8, 2014
How to handle a high volume WOD
I was working late into the night and couldn't sleep, so I decided to go to Crossfit.
Last night I saw the crossfit.com daily workout was:
For time:
115-lb. deadlifts, 50 reps
50 walking lunges
115-lb. back squats, 40 reps
40 toes-to-bars
115-lb. power cleans, 30 reps
30 burpee box jumps, 24 inch
115-lb. thrusters, 20 reps
20 triple-unders
You have to look at this WOD and say, "That's just ridiculous!" It's simply a ton of volume. I actually thought that it was silly enough to show my girlfriend, even just to show the programming, no need for further comment.
Back to 7am, guess what the WOD was? Of course, it was the mainsite WOD. My last two days of workouts left me with sore abs from tabata on Monday and sore parts of my anatomy that I didn't know could be sore from an inspiring set of attempts at heavy power cleans, which left me with a PR by 15lb!
I could feel my eyes desirous of sleep and my body fighting to stay unbroken. Despite being delirious, I know that when I'm crossfitting, my body goes into another realm and these concerns disappear.
The class size was definitely larger than the space allowed, so I made sure to get a platform where I wouldn't have to fight with others for space. Having my own platform meant that no wandering barbells would interfere with my WOD. I am a solo crossfitter in a sea of others.
I was next to a better athlete and one who goes shirtless during workouts (which is an interesting marker and methodology).
The Work for all athletes is the same when comparing athletes of similar height and weight and using the same barbell loading. In this way, we can have fair and accurate measurement and assign placing (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
I know myself as an athlete. I believe deeply in a slow, steady, consistent pace for my body. I could care less what other people are doing. In a crossfit workout, our goal is to complete the given task in the shortest possible time frame. The purpose is simply to increase our power output.
With this self-knowledge, I happily watch others speed ahead from the beginning of the workout. I remain calm and relaxed never doing any movement to failure. If I were to do so, it would require much longer rest periods. I prefer to go at a pace that can be kept for a long time. 15 deadlifts, 5 seconds rest. 15 deadlifts, 5 seconds rest. 10 deadlifts, 5 seconds rest. 10 deadlifts, 5 seconds rest. 25 lunges, 3 seconds rest. 15 lunges, 3 seconds rest. It goes on and on.
I am methodical, like an assassin always aware of the movements of my target. I am patient. For this to be a clean kill, I must be logical, self-aware, disciplined. I will not allow for doubt or uncertainty. I WOD with surgical precision. This is diametrically opposed to what I see publicly displayed in some athletes. I see desperation in yelling, cursing, and emotional outbursts when a movement is not going their way.
I see this as childlike and immature. Through the 50 deadlifts, 50 walking lunges, 40 back squats, and 40 toes-to-bars, my shirtless friend has been way out in front. He goes out quickly while I remain slow and steady. He is the hare to my tortoise. He may have gotten off the bar for his toes-to-bars before I have, but taking rest before his power cleans, he sees me return to my barbell. He says, "Alan, it's you and me."
We start our power cleans at the same time despite our very different strategies for the workout. In theory, I could probably rip through the power cleans in sets of tens, but if I did so, I would be a hyperventilating mess for my 30 burpee box jumps. I would hardly be able to get up from the ground on the burpees and probably would smash my shins on the 24 inch box repeatedly (#fail).
I chose to go touch-and-go in sets of 3s. Holy cow, 10 sets, that seems like a lot! After just 3 reps, I feel my respiration rate shoot up. I take 5 seconds to breathe before ripping another 3 reps. This goes on for the 30 reps and I'm off to the 30 burpee box jumps.
I was aware of the crossfitter next to me who was on his burpee box jumps. We were going rep for rep and it was like a game. He started before me, so I was surprised as we went deep into the 30 reps when he was still working on them.
I think I did some extra ones, not on purpose, but because I was too focused on listening to the sounds, watching myself fall to the ground and bound onto the box. I thought about rest between sets and decided to take a 2 second breath every 10 reps. The purpose was psychological. It was not about rest, but more about a self-awareness, a reward for the 10 reps. Doing a WOD is not about turning off the brain, entering a cave where pain is ignored, it is a celebration of movement, it is the gift of life, a chance to appreciate what we have. My 2 seconds of standing in between sets of 10 burpee box jumps was about gratitude.
This is what Crossfit is. It is the opportunity to express ourselves through fitness. It is the inspiration that makes life beautiful.
Last night I saw the crossfit.com daily workout was:
For time:
115-lb. deadlifts, 50 reps
50 walking lunges
115-lb. back squats, 40 reps
40 toes-to-bars
115-lb. power cleans, 30 reps
30 burpee box jumps, 24 inch
115-lb. thrusters, 20 reps
20 triple-unders
You have to look at this WOD and say, "That's just ridiculous!" It's simply a ton of volume. I actually thought that it was silly enough to show my girlfriend, even just to show the programming, no need for further comment.
Back to 7am, guess what the WOD was? Of course, it was the mainsite WOD. My last two days of workouts left me with sore abs from tabata on Monday and sore parts of my anatomy that I didn't know could be sore from an inspiring set of attempts at heavy power cleans, which left me with a PR by 15lb!
I could feel my eyes desirous of sleep and my body fighting to stay unbroken. Despite being delirious, I know that when I'm crossfitting, my body goes into another realm and these concerns disappear.
The class size was definitely larger than the space allowed, so I made sure to get a platform where I wouldn't have to fight with others for space. Having my own platform meant that no wandering barbells would interfere with my WOD. I am a solo crossfitter in a sea of others.
I was next to a better athlete and one who goes shirtless during workouts (which is an interesting marker and methodology).
I know myself as an athlete. I believe deeply in a slow, steady, consistent pace for my body. I could care less what other people are doing. In a crossfit workout, our goal is to complete the given task in the shortest possible time frame. The purpose is simply to increase our power output.
I am methodical, like an assassin always aware of the movements of my target. I am patient. For this to be a clean kill, I must be logical, self-aware, disciplined. I will not allow for doubt or uncertainty. I WOD with surgical precision. This is diametrically opposed to what I see publicly displayed in some athletes. I see desperation in yelling, cursing, and emotional outbursts when a movement is not going their way.
I see this as childlike and immature. Through the 50 deadlifts, 50 walking lunges, 40 back squats, and 40 toes-to-bars, my shirtless friend has been way out in front. He goes out quickly while I remain slow and steady. He is the hare to my tortoise. He may have gotten off the bar for his toes-to-bars before I have, but taking rest before his power cleans, he sees me return to my barbell. He says, "Alan, it's you and me."
We start our power cleans at the same time despite our very different strategies for the workout. In theory, I could probably rip through the power cleans in sets of tens, but if I did so, I would be a hyperventilating mess for my 30 burpee box jumps. I would hardly be able to get up from the ground on the burpees and probably would smash my shins on the 24 inch box repeatedly (#fail).
I chose to go touch-and-go in sets of 3s. Holy cow, 10 sets, that seems like a lot! After just 3 reps, I feel my respiration rate shoot up. I take 5 seconds to breathe before ripping another 3 reps. This goes on for the 30 reps and I'm off to the 30 burpee box jumps.
I was aware of the crossfitter next to me who was on his burpee box jumps. We were going rep for rep and it was like a game. He started before me, so I was surprised as we went deep into the 30 reps when he was still working on them.
I think I did some extra ones, not on purpose, but because I was too focused on listening to the sounds, watching myself fall to the ground and bound onto the box. I thought about rest between sets and decided to take a 2 second breath every 10 reps. The purpose was psychological. It was not about rest, but more about a self-awareness, a reward for the 10 reps. Doing a WOD is not about turning off the brain, entering a cave where pain is ignored, it is a celebration of movement, it is the gift of life, a chance to appreciate what we have. My 2 seconds of standing in between sets of 10 burpee box jumps was about gratitude.
This is what Crossfit is. It is the opportunity to express ourselves through fitness. It is the inspiration that makes life beautiful.
May 3, 2014
Welcome to hell
It all seems pretty silly to me -- the constructs of behavior we squeeze ourselves into. We join together in a common bond of contraction acting one way when we are another. So little is genuine, so much forced and done to fit an expectation.
Socializing is intentional which makes it invalid. The consideration to go to spend time with others because it is somehow better is to kill the value of the relationship. If the other person weren't there, it would be someone else. This is the crux of the issue. Choosing interaction is not natural.
What would make more sense is to interact with others based on situation and location. When there is a purpose to speak, great. Do it. When there is not, don't force it. Rarely does it accomplish anything beyond fitting into molds people place on themselves based on societal pressures.
Socializing is intentional which makes it invalid. The consideration to go to spend time with others because it is somehow better is to kill the value of the relationship. If the other person weren't there, it would be someone else. This is the crux of the issue. Choosing interaction is not natural.
What would make more sense is to interact with others based on situation and location. When there is a purpose to speak, great. Do it. When there is not, don't force it. Rarely does it accomplish anything beyond fitting into molds people place on themselves based on societal pressures.
May 1, 2014
What are we saying?
Today I was at a bus station at 8am on the way to the next country over and a funny thing happened.
Where I currently live, at 8am and 6pm everywhere around the country, a national anthem is played. It is blasted from speakers in the style of the classic book, 1984. Whether walking down the street, doing aerobics in a groups of a thousand people in the park, or in the mall, everyone stops moving and stands completely still. No one speaks, no one moves, it feels like the twilight zone. Foreigners are often baffled and wonder if the world is coming to an end.
Where I currently live, at 8am and 6pm everywhere around the country, a national anthem is played. It is blasted from speakers in the style of the classic book, 1984. Whether walking down the street, doing aerobics in a groups of a thousand people in the park, or in the mall, everyone stops moving and stands completely still. No one speaks, no one moves, it feels like the twilight zone. Foreigners are often baffled and wonder if the world is coming to an end.
April 26, 2014
How to solve the world's problems
The U.S is in deep trouble, and the rest of the world is going to feel the pain. In this discussion about the U.S., let's disregard increasing the monetary supply artificially buoying stock markets and corporate profits. These are short term benefits. Let's talk about the long term. With a weakened economy, there has been a shift of priorities. Under 30s are woefully underemployed and over 60s are unable to retire. For good or for bad, people seem to care about the political economic direction of the U.S. Obama wants us to help out our fellow man and spread the wealth.
Europeans believe deeply in what they call the "social system." German Chancellor Angela Merkel has been convinced to keep the Euro alive despite the failed Mediterranean economies. This essentially socializing Europe where the rich countries support the poor ones. America is moving toward a socialist health care system, though the rollout has been a disgusting mess. The U.S. government must continue raising taxes to pay for programs promised by politicians if they choose not to default on the nation's debt.
I have a thought experiment: Let's kill off everyone over age 30.
Europeans believe deeply in what they call the "social system." German Chancellor Angela Merkel has been convinced to keep the Euro alive despite the failed Mediterranean economies. This essentially socializing Europe where the rich countries support the poor ones. America is moving toward a socialist health care system, though the rollout has been a disgusting mess. The U.S. government must continue raising taxes to pay for programs promised by politicians if they choose not to default on the nation's debt.
I have a thought experiment: Let's kill off everyone over age 30.
April 25, 2014
Impossible to escape
I am a clinical crazy person.
I'll probably end up in a room with padded walls. Tonight, I had a night with the guys at a bar. I don't drink. I'm not sure why. Before going to the bar, I attempted to separate from the group but was told that it would be a normal bar, not the side show common to my current location. The next day, I was sorry I went.
April 19, 2014
Who in the World
Singapore - robots, clean, educated
Malaysia - triple-ethnic, progressing in business, retreating in civil rights
Thailand - land of the free, sex tourism, happiness
Laos - growing, solar, peaceful, content, partiers
Cambodia - scammy, dangerous, opportunity
Philippines - passionate, extreme wealth and poverty, musical people
Burma - uncertain future, political wild west
China - terrifying, dirty, powerful, tread carefully
Japan - the world's center of influence, emotions kept in check
Korea - emotional, communal, hierarchical
Australia - individual freedom, economic trouble ahead, racist
New Zealand - silly, playful, happy, chill
Germany - brilliant yet insufferable
Swiss - educated, rich, classy
France - socialist, pretentious
Former USSR - intense, expressive, blunt
Holland - community, beer, chocolate
Scandinavia - stable, shy, self-depreciating
Ireland - playful, happy, hard-working
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