November 6, 2013

Gravity - Worst Movie Ever

Gravity has been hyped as the movie of the year. With venerable favorites George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, you have to expect a blockbuster. The first half hour of the movie puts you in a different world. You wonder whether you will be taken on an unimaginable ride.

The pace is somewhat different than most movies. There is a calm that washes over you as you float through space with the soothing voice of George Clooney telling stories of his past. But then it all changes...

For a few minutes when we hit the first major twist, Gravity is some of the greatest action footage that you're likely to see, breathtaking even. If you choose to go iMax, the effect will be even greater. Unfortunately, the uniqueness begins to wear off as the crises repeat themselves. Rather than build suspense or alter the method of producing excitement, we get more of the same. Feeling deja vu while watching Gravity is almost certain.

Most of the movie is spent with the least likable character which makes it difficult to root for a happy ending. I found myself not caring much about the direction the film would take in terms of the safety of the astronaut that takes us through the majority of the film.

Unlike most of today's movies that rely on inappropriate themes for a young audience, Gravity is suitable for kids. Other than a few gratuitous scenes of camera work around Sandra Bullock's body in tight clothes, sex, violence and excessive foul language is absent.

It felt as though I were watching myself watching a movie due to the complete lack of subtlety and depth. The slapstick isn't especially entertaining. An unbranded pen continued to pollute the shot while we go from one space capsule to the next. With one shot of the pen's brand, the repeated product placement would have at least been funny. But alas, it was not to be.

The movie is completely lopsided in its sense of time. We spend so much time in peaceful nothingness, then a short shot of drama, and then back to what seems to be the director's intention of creating pretty shots. We get it, we're in outer space... no gravity.

Though at times gripping, I found myself bored for large chunks of the movie wondering what my friend next to me was thinking. Ideally, I wouldn't be watching a movie thinking about the movie or my friend next to me, or what the temperature of the movie theater was. Without much reason to be excited by the plot, I found my attention waning.

The beginning of the film is awesome, I highly recommend the first third. For last hour however, you may want to leave the theater to go shopping or take a nap to save a chunk of your life that you'll never get back if you finish watching the film. The end of the movie is incredibly disappointing. I felt like the credits came before we even got near any closure.

The plot is not believable. The main character isn't consistent. We have a few moments where she gives up all hope, then quickly decides that she will never give up. At first, the astronaut makes it clear she is completely irreligious, then moments later she is suddenly deep in prayer. If anything, the movie is a drama that becomes comedic in its ridiculousness.

The movie lacks depth and didn't give the impression of any deeper meaning. I can't imagine watching the film again because I don't think there's anything to figure out or discover. I recommend this movie if you need a break from the heat and are looking for a comfy chair and some strong air conditioning. My takeaway on the film: Don't tell a friend.


  1. So glad I'm not alone!

  2. I think movie critics read each other's work before watching movies. They all seemed to think Gravity was the greatest movie ever. I thought it was a bit boring.