Culture shock

I realized that much of my issue is simply a question of culture shock... in both directions. There's an uncertainty to the diametrically opposed truths within me, one innate (Western), the other what I have determined to be good (Asian). This caused an unbalancing of identity causing crisis. There are a few major points of conflict.

(1) A humility and self-effacing quality (which is most extreme in Korea) must be buoyed by a supportive environment, a culture of people who speak to each other with respect. Thus, in a Western, every man for himself, disconnected social system, the requirement is to harden oneself and to put on a more self-assured persona/identity.

(2) The no-self, which I was so intellectually fascinated by through buddhism/taoism simply isn't preferable in a culture with a language centering around the self. A narcissistic society doesn't allow one to interact cleanly without a strong sense of self.

The Game

Life is a prison. You are stuck forever and there is no escape outside of death. The pressure to win is constant and neverending. However, winning is a farce. It is impossible to reach as a small win only makes the player hungry for more.